Duo In Boots
by Pearl Eternity
Summary: My take on Puss In Boots...Gundam Wing style!Review!First fic!
1. Default Chapter

Duo In Boots  
  
Disclaimers:Don't own the story or the characters.....don't sue,all I own is my hampster......and it doesn't like me... This is written in script-style,so bear with me!^_^" Came to me in a dream......just kidding.Like always,I was bored.Enjoy! (PS,I am referred to as pearl in this fic...) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Pearl:Ok,everyone!Here we are!  
  
Wu Fei:Injustice....Stupid onna!  
  
Quatre:Why are we here?  
  
Pearl:You're here to act out a great story...Duo in boots!  
  
Quatre:Yay!  
  
~~~~Once Upon a time,there was a miller.When he died,he left a cat named Duo To his youngest son,Wu Fei.~~~~  
  
Duo:Yeah!I make a GREAT cat....  
  
Wu Fei:INJUSTICE!I AM NOT A PEASANT!  
  
~~~~The youngest son sat upon a stone and cried out..."What am I to do now! How am I to survive with only a cat at my side!"~~~~  
  
Wu Fei:and NOT a whiner either...  
  
~~~~"Fear not,my master,I have a plan."The cat said.~~~~  
  
Duo:Damn right!  
  
Wu Fei:And THAT's supposed to make me feel better...HOW?  
  
~~~~"Give me a cape,a hat with a feather in it,a bag,and a pair of boots.THEN i'll make you rich."~~~~~  
  
Wu Fei:Why the hell would I give you anything!? Duo:c'mon...i'll help ya out....REALLY...*smirk*  
  
~~~~The young man, by no means surprised, for it was quite common for cats to talk in those days, gave the cat what he asked for, and as he strode away, confident and cheerful.~~~~  
  
Wu Fei:GIVE ME BACK MY BOOTS!!!INJUSTICE!!  
  
Duo:*smirk*nope i NEED them......  
  
~~~~Swift of foot as he was, Duo caught a fat wild rabbit, popped it into his bag, knocked at the castle gate, went before King Heero and, removing his hat, with a sweeping bow, he said: "Sire, the famous Wu Fei of Carabas sends you this fine plump rabbit as a gift."~~~~  
  
Duo:I AM SHINIGAMI!!DIE RABBIT!!! Everyone else:O.o Heero:.... Wu Fei:You want me to get rich off a RABBIT!!BAKA!!! Duo:^_^  
  
~~~~"Oh," said King Heero, "thanks so much." "Till tomorrow," replied the cat as he went out. And the next day, back he came with some partridges tucked away in his bag. ~~~~  
  
Heero:Again...?  
  
~~~~"Another gift from the brave Wu Fei of Carabas," he announced.~~~~  
  
Duo:Brave my ass...  
  
~~~~Queen Trowa remarked, "This Wu Fei of Carabas is indeed a very courteous gentleman." ~~~~  
  
Duo:AHAHA!!!TROWA'S THE QUEEN!!!  
  
~~~~In the days that followed, Duo in Boots regularly visited the castle, carrying rabbits, hares, partridges and skylarks, presenting them all to King Heero in the name of Wu Fei of Carabas. Folk at the palace began to talk about this noble gentleman. ~~~~  
  
Sally:Betcha he'd be a great asset us.... Hilde:I don't really care who he is...... Sally:Bitch...  
  
~~~~Queen Trowa was very interested in this generous man who sent these gifts. "Is your master young and handsome?" she asked the cat. ~~~~  
  
Everyone minus Trowa and Heero:*snicker*  
  
~~~~"Oh yes. And very rich, too," answered Duo in Boots. "In fact, he would be very honoured if you and King Heero came to see him in his castle." When Duo returned home and told his master that King Heero and Queen Trowa were going to visit him, he was horrified. ~~~~  
  
Wu Fei:YOU TOLD THEM WHAT! Oh shit.. Duo:^_^ Heh,oops...  
  
~~~~"Whatever shall we do?" he cried. "As soon as they see me they will know how poor I am."~~~~  
  
Duo:Uh Oh Wu-man,they might 'behead'you... Wu Fei:*groan*  
  
~~~~"Leave everything to me," replied Duo in Boots. "I have a plan." For several days, the crafty cat kept on taking gifts to King Heero and Queen Trowa, and one day he discovered that they were taking Princess Quatre,on a carriage ride that very afternoon.~~~~  
  
Quatre:Yay!Pretty Princess! Everyone minus Quatre:x_x Quatre:*looks around*What?  
  
~~~~Duo hurried home in great excitement. "Master, come along," he cried. "It is time to carry out my plan. You must go for a swim in the river." "But I can't swim," replied Wu Fei.~~~~  
  
Wu Fei:INJUSTICE!I can too swim! Quatre:Then why did you need that pink floatie in the kiddie pool last week? Duo:*Falls over laughing*PINK!!THE KIDDIE POOL!!AHAHA!!WUFFIE!!! Wu Fei:*turns scarlet*You weren't supposed to tell anyone....  
  
~~~~"That's all right," replied Duo in Boots. "Just trust me."~~~~  
  
Duo:*maniacal grin*Truuuuust me....^_^ Wu Fei:I'm gonna die.....  
  
~~~~So they went to the river and when King Heero's carriage appeared the cat pushed his master into the water. ~~~~  
  
Wu Fei:DUO!YOU BAKA!!I'M DROWNING! Duo:*sheepish grin*Cats don't like swimming Wuffie... Wu Fei:X_X*gurgle*  
  
~~~~King Heero heard his cries and sent his escorts to the rescue. They arrived just in time to save the poor man, who really was drowning.~~~~  
  
Zechs:Uhh,do we have to go in there? Treize:Yes...on second thought....*Hooks Wu Fei's shirt with his spear,dragging him to shore*What do you say we go get a drink? Zechs:*shrugs*Sure...  
  
~~~~King Heero,Queen Trowa and Princess Quatre fussed around and ordered new clothes to be brought for Wu Fei of Carabas.~~~~  
  
Quatre:PINK!!! Wu Fei: No!  
  
~~~~"Wouldn't you like to marry such a handsome man?" Queen Trowa asked her daughter. "Oh, yes," replied Princess Quatre.~~~~  
  
Quatre:*turns pink and bats eyelashes*Oh,Yes.... Everyone minus quatre:*gag* Wu Fei:....Must....resist..... Everyone Else:-_-"  
  
~~~~However, Duo overheard one of the ministers remark that they must find out how rich he was."He is very rich indeed," said Duo in Boots. ~~~~  
  
Duo:Suuuure he is.Yup!^_^"  
  
~~~~"He owns the castle and all this land. Come and see for yourself. I will meet you at the castle." And with these words, Duo rushed off in the direction of the castle, shouting at the peasants working in the fields, "If anyone asks you who your master is, answer: Wu Fei of Carabas. Otherwise you will all be sorry." ~~~~  
  
Random Peasants:O.o" ok..... Duo:*holds them at gunpoint*Yup! Random Peasants:OK!!MASTER WU FEI!!!GOT IT!! Duo:^_^  
  
~~~~And so, when King Heero's carriage swept past, the peasants told the King that their master was Wu Fei of Carabas. In the meantime, Duo in Boots had arrived at the castle, the home of the huge, cruel ogre,Relena.~~~~  
  
Relena:Why do ~I~ have to be the ogre....  
  
Heero:Because we all hate you and want you to die.Ome O Korosu.  
  
Quatre:But we mean that in a good way!^_^"  
  
Relena:Uhhh.....ok!  
  
~~~~Before knocking at the gate, Duo said to himself, "I must be very careful, or I'll never get out of here alive." ~~~~  
  
Duo:That's nothing out of the ordinary.....  
  
~~~~When the door opened, Duo in Boots removed his feather hat, exclaiming, "My Lordess Ogre,Relena, my respects!" "What do you want, cat?" asked Relena rudely. "Lordess, I've heard you possess great powers. That, for instance, you can change into a lion or an elephant." ~~~~  
  
Duo:Though you're uglier than one already....  
  
~~~~"That's perfectly true," Relena said, "and so what?" "Well," said the cat, "I was talking to certain friends of mine who said that you can't turn into a tiny little creature, like a mouse." "Oh, so that's what they say, is it?" exclaimed the Ogre,Relena. ~~~~  
  
Relena:How could they say that! Heero:Easily.....  
  
~~~~Duo in Boots nodded, "Well, Lordess, that's my opinion too, because folk that can do big things never can manage little ones." ~~~~  
  
Duo:And you're DEFINITELY big....and ugly....and smelly....-_-"  
  
~~~~"Oh, yes? Well, just watch this!" retorted Ogre Relena, turning into a mouse. ~~~  
  
Relena:Ha! See,!I Told you I could! Wu Fei:Don't tell me she doesn't see it coming....?Even a stupid Onna shouldn't be THAT oblivious....-_-"  
  
~~~~In a flash, the cat leapt on the mouse and ate it whole. ~~~~  
  
Duo:EWWW!*Brushes teeth*Nasty Relena after-taste.......*shudders* Everyone:-_-" Wu Fei:Baka Onna.......  
  
~~~~Then he dashed to the castle gate, just in time, for the King's carriage was drawing up.~~~~  
  
Duo:*phew*made it...  
  
~~~~With a bow, Duo in Boots said, "Sire, welcome to the castle of Wu Fei of Carabas!"~~~~  
  
Duo:And resident baka...  
  
Wu Fei:_"  
  
~~~~The King and Queen, the Princess and Wu Fei who, dressed in his princely clothes, really did look like royalty, got out of the carriage and the King spoke: ~~~~  
  
Duo:SPOKE!IT'S A MIRACLE!! Heero:*Death Glare* Duo:Eep!  
  
~~~~"My dear Wu Fei, you're a fine, handsome, young man, you have a great deal of land and a magnificent castle. Tell me, are you married?" "No," Wu Fei answered, "but I would like to find a wife."~~~~  
  
Duo:*laughs*A WIFE!!!Ahahahaha....... Wu Fei:Grrrrrr.....  
  
~~~~He looked at the Princess as he spoke. ~~~~  
  
Wu Fei:*looks at Quatre*.......*puts on shades* Pastel colours hurt my eyes.....  
  
~~~~She in turn smiled at him.~~~~  
  
Quatre:*Tries a seductive grin*  
  
Wu Fei:_*gets nose bleed*  
  
Everyone not including Quatre,Duo and Wu Fei:O.o  
  
Duo:*grins,and whistles innocently*I didn't teach him that.....  
  
Everyone except Quatre and Duo:O.o" baka.....-  
  
~~~~To cut a long story short, the miller's son, now Wu Fei of Carabas, married the Princess and lived happily with her in the castle. And from time to time, the cat would wink and whisper, "You see, Master, I am worth a lot more than any mangy donkey or half-ruined mill, aren't I?" ~~~~  
  
Duo:Who would've known I could do so much with a bag,a pair of boots and a hat.^_~ Every one else:-_-"  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Pearl:See?That wasn't so bad.... Wu Fei:YOU WEREN'T MARRIED TO QUATRE!!! Pearl:I wouldn't mind that....*evil grin* Every one else:O.o" Quatre:ummm.....Review? 


	2. Hey Diddle Diddle

Disclaimers:I own nothing.I lost my mind.May we continue now? ~~~~ Pearl:I'm ba~ack!!  
  
All:nooooooooo  
  
Wufei:*cries*no more torture!!please!!!  
  
Pearl:too bad. I haven't written anything since.for a while anyways.Deal.  
  
Quatre:*pats Wufei on the back*It isn't that bad..  
  
Duo:So what's the fairy tale this time?  
  
Pearl:not a fairy tale this time......A nursery rhyme!Hey diddle diddle!  
  
All:*sweatdrop*  
  
Duo:oh well.At least it's short?  
  
~~Hey Diddle Diddle,The cat and the fiddle~~  
  
Quatre:ummm....fiddle??........this'll have to do?*plays violin*  
  
~~the cow jumed over the moon~~  
  
Wufei:*backstage*Injustice!I will NOT go out in this!!  
  
Zechs and Treize:Oh yeah??  
  
Wufei:*is dragged on stage in a cow suit*Noo!I will NOT jump!!  
  
Zechs and Treize:*exchange Identical grins*  
  
Wufei:*goes wide eyed*NOOOOOOOOOOO*is thrown over the moon* Injusticeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!  
  
Treize:Goodbye!!  
  
Zechs:Godspeed!!  
  
Wufei:*hits the ground*@_@ Pain.......ouch.....help........  
  
~~The little dog laughed to see such a sight~~  
  
Duo:*rolling on the floor,clutching his stomach,laughing hysterically*oww.too funny.....it hurts!!*laughs uncontrollably*Nice suit Wu-cow!!  
  
Wufei:Injustice.........@_@*has a lump on his head*  
  
Duo:*Is trying to breathe and Is still rolling around*  
  
~~And the dish ran away with the spoon~~  
  
Heero(to Trowa):Let's get the hell outta here....  
  
Trowa:I was thinking the same thing...  
  
Heero and Trowa:*run like hell*  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Pearl:gee,wasn't that fun?  
  
Wufei:*glares*Baka Onna,My head hurts......*holding an ice pack against the lump*  
  
Pearl:*raises hands*I didn't hire them to throw you,just to get you to do your part....  
  
Wufei:*glares more*  
  
Quatre:I don't see what the big deal is......  
  
Duo:My tummy hurts......  
  
Zechs:One more thing I was hired to do....  
  
Treize:And What might that be?  
  
Zechs:*turns to crowd*Review?  
  
All minus Pearl and Zechs:*sweatdrop* 


End file.
